Improvements for ‘Wonderland’ the first draft

·         The audience wants to see the plot of the film more.

·         We need to show how Alice has died, in a car crash.

·         We need to introduce my character more, the drug dealer.

·         We need to make it clear Rob has turned to drugs, through his depression.

·         The audience wants a voice over to explain the film.

·         A voice over during the beginning scene with Rob.

We can show Rob’s depression and that my character is a drug dealer by a scene where the two of us meet and I take him to ‘Wonderland’.

We could explain the storyline more and show Alice has died in a car crash with a voice over at the beginning of the film.

We will do more editing to show that the drugs have taken Will to ‘Wonderland’ where he can see Alice again.

Film Clips Audience Feedback

Film Planning

Shot	Date	Cast and Crew	Location
1	October 15th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Drug den
2	October 17th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Alleyway
3	October 17th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Alleyway
4	October 17th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Alleyway
5	October 17th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Alleyway
6	October 15th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Drug den
7	October 18th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Park
8	October 18th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Park
9	October 18th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Park
10	October 15th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Drug den
11	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
12	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
13	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
14	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
15	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
16	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
17	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
18	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
19	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
20	October 22nd	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle.	Road
21	October 15th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Drug den
22	October 25th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Shannon.	Drug den
23	October 25th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Shannon.	Drug den
24	October 25th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Shannon.	Drug den
25	October 15th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Drug den
26	November 1st	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Forest
27	November 1st	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Forest
28	November 5th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Forest
29	November 5th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Forest
30	November 5th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Forest
31	November 5th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Forest
32	November 5th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will, Elle, Shannon.	Forest
33	November 12th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Forest
34	November 15th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Forest
35	November 19th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Drug den
36	November 19th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler, Will.	Drug den
37	November 26th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler.	Editing
38	November 26th	Mikey, Callum, Tyler.	Editing

Mr. Morris' Audience Feedback

Storyboard for trailer

The pages of this story board is split up into 8 shots on one page.
I will be going through what we want in each shot and how we plan to do it.

Page 1
The 1st shot shows a man tightening a belt around his arm. This is to drag the audience straight away into the drama of the film and it gives the audience some knowledge into what this story is about, drugs. This shot will be brief only a couple of seconds long.
The shots 2-5 are of a scene where Will, the main character, has a knife and is mugging Mikey.We plan not to reveal what happens; if Will stabs Mikey, if Mikey escapes. We're portraying Will as a scummy man so we can show why he's become the way he is.
Shot 6 goes back to Will taking drugs. Currently he is slapping his wrist so he can find a vein.
Shots 7 and 8 show Will with his girlfriend Elle, this is to introduce Elle to the audience and also show the loving side of Will's character.

Page 2
Shot 9 is Will and Elle leaving each other with Will smiling, this is to show the audience that Elle's character makes Will's happy.
Shot 10 goes back to Will taking drugs and shows him 'cooking' the drugs on a spoon over a lighter, this is common for an audience to see when the gritty side of drugs is shown in films and television.
Shots 11 - 13 shows Elle's character on the phone to Will's. Elle walks into the road and gets hit by a car. We're not going to show her get hit by a car, so we're going to have a black out and have the sound of a car crash. This is not a shot and can be done with editing, so we didn't feel it was needed in the storyboard if we could explain it when needed.Now knowing that Will's character has just had his girlfriend on the phone to him when she was hit by a car, the audience can understand the actions taken by Will's character.
Shot 14 shows Will using a syrringe to take the drug up ready to insert in to his arm, the audience are now starting to relate to Will's character because they start qusetioning what they would do in the same situation.
Shot 15 shows Will leaving a graveyard in a suit, this would show the audience that he was there to pay respect to someone who had died and with the shot of Elle being hit by the car they anchor each other to show she has died.
Shot 16 shows Will walking past an alleyway with me, Tyler, noticing him and walking up to meet him. At this moment it just looks like Tyler's character is a friend going to console Will's.

Page 3
Shot 17-20 is Tyler speaking to Will and asking Will's character if he wants to buy some drugs. This shows the audience how Will's character was able to get the drugs. Will doesn't respond to Tyler which shows his depression, he is still in the suit which tells the audience, with the anchor of the funeral shot, this is the same day as Elle's funeral.Tyler puts his arm round Will and tells Will to follow him. The audience can see Tyler's character as a scummy drug dealer who's not actually caring for Will's but just wants to sell him drugs.
Shot 21 shows Will about to inject his arm with the needle. This shows that Tyler's character has got his way and Will's character is taking drugs.
Shots 22-24 show Will's first look at Tyler's character's apartment, called wonderland. This is also the first time the audience see's it and we will have a line from Tyler as he opens the door saying 'welcome to wonderland'. This gives the audience a link to the title of the film. We want the place to look scummy and plain, nothing extravangant, just everything that's needed. We want drugged up people on the floor, passed out, people getting ready to take 'hits' and then ending with Tyler taking a line of cocaine.

Page 4
Shot 25 shows a close up of the syrringe with blood being drawn into it and mixing with the heroin. This is to show that the syrringe is in Will's body and is taking blood out from it.The shot carries on and we see the content of the syrringe pushed down and out. This is to show that Will's character has taken the 'shot' and with that we want editing to brighten the screen and turn the shot white. Showing the effect the heroin has had on Will's character.
The next shots are 26-29, where Will has taken the drugs and has created a world called Wonderland in his head. Wonderland is a forest where we see random things occur, all created by Will's character. We see Mikey and Shannon cross-dressing and skipping along in the forest, Callum snorting a long line of cocaine off of the floor. This is to show the audience some comedy but also to show the random things that pop up in your mind appear in Will's halucination. Then we see the first appearance of Elle's character Alice, in Wonderland. This creates and reveals the link of why the film is called wonderland.
The next shots, 30-32 show Will proclaiming his love for Elle and asking for her forgiveness when she died. Before Elle is able to speak we hear a sound behind Will similar to the car crash earlier. Will turns round to see what it is, but there is nothing. This creates suspense in the trailer and keeps the audience tense.

Page 5
Shots 33 and 34 show when Will looks back round to see Elle she appears like she has been hit, with this shot anchored by the car crash sound behind Will the audience can tell this is what she looked like after she was hit by the car. This is to show the audience the darker side this film will take in scenes and that it is a violent, bloody film.
Shot 35 shows Will rocking back and forth in the Wonderland apartment, alone. This shows the audience how he's changed through out the trailer. At first he appears to be a scummy mugger, then we feel sorry for him after the loss of his girlfriend and then we see how desperate and alone he is.
Shot 36 shows the door to wonderland being closed. The audience will know the door because of the scene where Tyler opens it with 'welcome to wonderland'.
Shot 37 has the name of the film, 'Wonderland' and coming soon. This shows the audience the title of the film and when it's coming out.
Shot 38 has the credits of performers, directors, writers, the production company.

Honourable mentions are scenes we plan to shoot but are unsure if we will put them into the trailer.
A scene between Tyler and Will, where Tyler's character is telling Will's he has to stop taking drugs and Will becomes violent.
A couple seconds of a shot showing a made up production company.
A green screen saying the age rating of the film/trailer.

Basic Trailer Idea

Green screen. Age rating of trailer.
‘Production company’.
Elle and Will going out.
Walking along holding hands.
Will: So, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Elle: I hope you haven’t forgotten it’s our anniversary.
Will: Don’t worry, I’ve got everything planned. Just don’t stand me up.
Fade
Phone call, car headlights.
Will standing outside restaurant, looking at the time on his phone, then calls Elle.
Will: Where are you?
Elle: I’m just running late, I should be there soon
Elle walks out into the road.
Head lights appear, camera fades, hear car brakes, phone cuts off
Funeral.
Will walking out of a graveyard in a suit.
Meeting the drug dealer.
Tyler leaning against a wall in an alleyway.
Will walks past and Tyler stops him.
Tyler: Alright Rob? What you up to?
(No reply from Will)
Tyler: Do you want to buy some gear?
(No reply.)
Tyler: Come with me, we’ll have a chat.
Going to ‘wonderland’.
P.O.V. shot showing Will walking into Wonderland apartment.
Looking into rooms of drug addicts.
Passed out in Jesus position.
Drug addict rocking in a room.
Taking a hit.
Will takes a shot of heroin.
Wonderland apartment turns into wonderland forest.
Wonderland forest.
Will sees silhouette of Elle in wonderland.
Establish the cast.
Will Derry – Reality (running into shot, looking through stolen wallet).
Elle Rossiter – Reality (looking in the mirror, getting ready for night out).
Tyler Andrews – Reality (snorts cocaine then looks up at camera)
Mugging scene.
Mikey walking along.
Will walking opposite way.
Will pushing Mikey into a wall and get out a knife.
Will: Give me your money.
Mikey: Get off me!
Close up of knife.
Will stabs Mikey.
Will and Elle talking in wonderland forest.
Elle: Why are you here?
Will: I had to come see you.
Elle: You shouldn’t have come. (Blood starts dripping from her mouth)
Elle steps back.
The sound of the car break is heard.
Will turns around, there’s nothing there.
Will looks back at Elle.
Elle is in the same clothes the night she was hit.
Elle’s clothes are torn with bloodstains with blood dripping from her mouth. Mangled
Dramatic argument between Tyler and Will.
In wonderland, the apartment.
Tyler: sorry, I cant let you in
Will: no you have to, I need to get I there
Tyler: I should never of started you on this, just get out now while you still can.
Will: Its to late now, let me in !
(scuffle ensues )
Will sitting in wonderland apartment alone.
Will standing in wonderland forest (raining) alone.
Title of the film.
Wonderland apartment door shuts.
Caption follows with title ‘Wonderland’
Credits.

Wonderland Presentation

Wonderland presentation

View more presentations from T-Stain.

Innocent Intentions

The feedback we got from Innocent Intentions was mixed.

All information we can take to our film trailer.

Good points that we will carry on doing.

Bad points that we will work on and improve.

Shots; through the bars received praise.

Sound; music was praised because it kept the scene tense.

Editing; that split the long, continuous shots got some recognition.

Long shots; we didn't cut up was slated like Mikey on the phone.

Continuity editing; where Mikey was looking right and the P.O.V. shot showed him looking left.

Saving private Ryan Trailer

The beginning of the trailer is unconventional, it shows images of world war two cut between zooms and pans of letters with non-diegetic sounds of people reading the letters out, they are telegrams of the reported death of three men. More non-diegetic sound is played, a messenger speaking to a colonel over the top of images from World War Two again being cut between captions of three brothers names who have died, linking back to the letters read out earlier. The voice over then says the Mother of these three men is receiving all three telegrams of her sons death at the same time and there's a fourth brother still alive. The colonel then says they will get the fourth brother out, alive. This shows us the inspiration from Robert Rodat and also sets up the plot of the film.

We then comeback to a conventional trailer with revealing the main character, Tom Hanks. Non-diegetic sound of slow paced classical music. Brief shots introducing characters and important scenes. Names of actors appear in the shot with the close ups and medium close ups of the actors to anchor each other. The title of the film appears and then in a separate caption shows the director clearly but discretely

Pulp Fiction Trailer

Non-diegetic of slow classical music accompanied by sound reads the captions at the beginning, declaring it's one of the most celebrated motion pictures of the year (1994), it's also the winner of the 1994 Palme D'or and the best picture of the Cannes film festival. The caption then receives special effects anchored with sound of bullet shots that start burning up the caption.
Then fast paced music is played with introductions of main characters and scenes introducing other characters. The non-diegetic sound then quiets down when a caption saying 'A Quentin Tarantino film'. We have more shots introducing characters and the parts they play in the film with different fast and slow paced songs to anchor the mood in the scenes. Non-diegetic sound is then brought in with a narrator introducing the actors; John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman etc. leaving Bruce Willis to the end to provide his name with more emphasis as he is a big star, this is then anchored with a one liner shared between Bruce Willis and John Travolta. The voice over also says it's directed by Quentin Tarantino. The title is introduced with flashes that are anchored by the last shot of John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson aiming at the camera, indicating they fired.  

Pulp Fiction

The lives of two mob hit men, a boxer, a gangster's wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of violence and redemption.

Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega are two hitmen who are out to retrieve a suitcase stolen from their employer, mob boss Marsellus Wallace. Wallace has also asked Vincent to take his wife Mia out a few days later when Wallace himself will be out of town. Butch Coolidge is an aging boxer who is paid by Wallace to lose his next fight. The lives of these seemingly unrelated people are woven together comprising of a series of funny, bizarre and uncalled-for incidents.

The genres are; Crime and Thriller.

Director is Quentin Tarantino whose recently directed Reservoir Dogs.

Joint main actors include John Travolta whose biggest success is still Grease.

Samuel L. Jackson whose appeared in Jurassic Park.

Bruce Willis whose been in Die Hard and Die Hard 2.

Uma Thurman whose recently been in the TV movie of Robin Hood.

Estimated Budget is about £8,000,000 but could have a gross profit of £200,000,000+.

Saving Private Ryan

An idea created by Robert Rodat after seeing a memorial to four brothers who had died in the war.
The film is about a group of US soldiers who go behind enemy lines to retrieve a paratrooper whose brothers have been killed in action.
The genres are; Action, Drama, History and War.
Directed by Steven Spielberg who most recently has produced Schindlers List.
Main Character is played by Tom Hanks who has recently been in Forrest Gump, Apollo 13 and Toy Story.
Tom Sizemore is a memorable tough guy character, sought after by the most respected directors in the business.
Matt Damon is a relatively unkown actor but has currently starred in Good Will Hunting.
Estimated Budget will be about £70,000,000 with a gross profit of £200,000,000+.

Nine Steps of Production

1) Idea - Usually comes from the Writer, Director or Producer.
2) Money - Development Finance.
3) Script Development - Step Outline, Final Draft, Sales Treatment.
4) Packaging Moment - Genre, Storyboard, Cast, Director, Spin Off, Budget.
5) Financing - Pre Sales, Insurance, Completion Bond.
6) Pre Production - Story Boarding, Casting, Set Design, Special Effects.
7) Shoot - Filming the clips for final cut.
8) Post Production - Editing the clips.
9) Distribution -

Film Production and Pitching An Idea

Film making consists of high costs to finance the three main stages a film must go through in order for it to be released to an audience:

Production.
Distribution.
Exhibition.

The people who put up the money - investors, financers, distributors and exhibitors - should have a noticeable influence at certain key stages over the film.

The producer has multiple roles. The main job is not just raising finance, but raising confidence in the initial idea. Getting people aware of the potential the product has to offer and getting things roling through money and charisma. The idea could come from anywhere; a book, play, television series, comic strip, computer game or film. The idea needs to be thought through and discussed with the producer and have him kept in the loop.

The package needs key elements and selling points, put together by a producer and presented to potential investors, financiers and distributors. These include:

Script treatment - in depth story, famous actors and locations.

Generic Characteristics - common genre or hybrid genres.

Proposed budget

Storyboard of key scenes

Director/Write - famous name, proven track record.

Potential Cast - very few successful British artists do British films.

Key creative Personnel - cinematographer, art director, editor and special effects team.

Possible marketing spin-offs - Give film publicity and profitability.

The pitch is the term used for the presentation of the package by the producer to a potential financial backer. Pitches tend to create a simple plot that is easily understood, with characters and narrative introduced but simplified. They are designed to present ideas that are high-concept.

High Concept films are commonly reproduced films, actors and directors. High-concept is a response by Hollywood to the risks of such huge investments. They repackage what was successful, the director that consistently makes good science-fiction films, the actor who stars in the best action films, the sequels to the highly popular films out there.

Pitching a movie idea

In class we were asked to think of a film and pitch it to our teacher and the class. We would then receive feedback from it and discuss if it was a good concept or not, what could change and how we could improve. My idea was of a slasher-thriller called stalk, the plot would be boy meets girl, boy falls in love, girl hardly notices him, boy kills off competition and tries to get close to her. The idea that we already know the killer was brought up, so I suggested there's at least three suspects all making friends with her at the same time, leaving suspicions high. I linked the story to the ending of Sorority  Row, where a all girl Sorority were being hunted and killed by the boyfriend of the main character. I placed my target audience as 18+ men and women which seems about right for a horror/thriller. We also heard other pitches such as a action take on a film like Catch Me If You Can type film, where the criminals are escaping from the law. A drama based on a homeless man, living on the streets and we see the lives they lead through their eyes. When comparing these ideas with others we all agreed that, though mine was good, both those ideas surpassed mine. Therefore I am putting that story into the back of mind, in case we want to go back to it, and looking at other ideas which I can discuss with in the group. Perhaps a film like Kidulthood, showing the life of teenagers and gang warfare.